Voxdotcom just announced, “We are looking for a fast-moving, forward-thinking, innovative editor to lead a team of writers focused on gender, sexuality, race, and criminal justice.” The editor would “[c]onceptualize and implement an editorial strategy for the race and identity team.” You can’t say, ‘They’ve only been in business for a year and already these overambitious Juiceboxers sound like The Man!’ OK, maybe you can say that. But Vox is not alone in the hunt for talent!
Kausfiles is looking for an editor to conceptualize and implement an editorial strategy for our Sustainable Resentment and Animosity Desk. Here is the job notice:
JOB APPLICATION FOR EDITOR AT KAUSFILES
We’re looking for a defensive, pissed-off editor to lead a team of bitter, underpaid writers to rehash the ideological battles of the 1980s! The editor would conceive, manage and shape this coverage until the entire team quits. Except that there is no team. We weren’t going to tell you that until you showed up, but the cat is out of the bag now.
We’re looking for someone with:
— A minimum 6 years of trolling experience
— Poor social skills
— The ability to take an idea and weave a compelling longform narrative around it and then realize that nobody reads that shit anymore and just tweet it out at 3 AM.
— Mastery of traditional hack devices, including “Oh wait …” “Squirrel!” and “BWAHAHAHA”
— Headline writing magic!
— The ability to take a story from “good enough” to “great” but really why bother? Where’s the payoff for that? I mean, if it’s good enough it’s good enough. Probably too good. This is the Web.
— A history of controversy and abrupt departure who is not Dave Weigel.
— Get up by 11 AM. We mean it this time.
— Cultivate and curate a broad variety of grievances and enemies in diverse occupations who might have been useful to you in an era when writers actually had “careers” but are now going to be pretty much SOL and unemployed themselves one day soon (unless they can get that FOX gig).
— In particular, hound anyone of a group designated as “Whippersnappers” even if they claim newfound maturity or appreciation of Carter-era skepticism about the Davis-Bacon Act.
— Bring the finest wines available to humanity here, now.
— Not back down even when the target of your trolling DMs you and says “Didn’t you used to be a serious person?”
— Get dressed (optional).
Salary: BWAHAHAHA. Squirrel! Oh wait.